General Announcement.

The woman clambers onto the checkout counter, stolen PA mic in her hand. The girl working the register observes the woman blankly, but makes no move to stop her. The conveyor belt under her feet keeps moving, but her weight makes it stop and start unevenly, drunk-driving her towards the checkout girl, and the woman stomps to keep her place.

"I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT," she announces. "IT IS I," she adds, but no one knows who she is so this means nothing. The lack of response causes the woman to frown, and she climbs even higher, onto the pillar with the number of the aisle: 8. And it is here that she finally reveals her secret to the world, finally, after secret months and hidden sojourns, her voice thunderous and godlike over the Piggly Wiggly PA system.

"I HAVE TAKEN A LOVER."