October 12, 2017.

SPOOKTOBER STORY #6:

This one's about aliens. I know, I know, aliens aren't really spooky, even though everybody always says the most frightening thing is "fear of the unknown," and ain't nobody ever met a alien. I blame E.T., that pudgy little rumpled up Slim Jim, making everybody love ugly outer-space idiots who probably don't even breathe oxygen.

But anyway for the point of this Spooktober Story you just have to believe me that the possibility of extraterrestrial life is spooky. Maybe they want to eat our guts, or take all of our stuff. Why do aliens on the tv always want to invade Earth for our resources? We don't even have enough resources for ourselves, we're always running out of oil fields to frack or cactuses to turn into tequila or whatever. Invade an asteroid belt if you love resources so much, you smooth-skinned freaks!

So sort of what's going on in this one is that there's an alien, but you sort of just have to pretend that aliens are inherently frightening, like draculas or swamp things. I mean that's basically the point, if you can't roll with that central conceit, then the rest of it isn't really going to make that much sense, and you're definitely not going to get the wibbles about it...

...you know what, never mind about this one. The next one's really going to spook your socks off, though! It's about that big dumb dinosaur in Loch Ness that loves to only get photographed by potatoes.