October 6, 2021.

my uncle warned me about all this he said

"jon, if you're walking down the road mind your feet, even if you're real real excited to get to the convention hall where they're holding the pickle convention," he told me,

"and i know you've got your pickle juice and your hot hot pickles so hot they burn your mouth clean off and make you sick when you take a bite and that's a lot of fun, but if you don't mind your feet you're liable to step on a big fat toad just sittin there licking slime and toad snot all over itself all day," he told me,

"and then if you step on a big fat wet slimy toad you'll fall down a big old hole and drop your juice and your hot hot pickles so hot they make you puke whenever you eat them so hot they make you absolutely sick out of every hole you've got," he said,

and i nodded but i wasn't really listening because i was thinking about kicking away and walking down the road eating my hot hot pickles so hot they made me shit and puke and piss and also snot all over, like the toad that i stepped on which had snotted all over itself so snotty it made itself real wet and slimy and so i stepped on it my foot slipped right off its snot,

and now i fall down a big old dirty hole and i spilled my pickle juice and my hot hot pickles so hot they make me get really really sick and now i'm trapped at the bottom of the hole, and i'll never get to that pickle convention and i'm liable to about die down here because i've already licked up as much pickle juice as i can that spilled down the bottom of the hole but it's not very much and the sun has set and can't anybody hear me down here,

and that just about does it for me, anyway, i guess.