Jon Phillips is a motion graphics artist, writer, and director.

Spooktober Stories

oooOOOooooOOoooOooo etc.

October 26, 2022.

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When I was twenty two, I used to sleep in a van. My bank account was zero, and what money I made from selling my mom’s jewelry I spent on beer that tasted like piss that I’d drink alone in my van. Pretty sad, right?

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Now when I drink, it’s two hundred dollar bottles with my own signature on the label, and it’s in the company of supermodels who want nothing more than to be with me and the highest powered people in the world. What changed? Easy. My mindset.

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I found that by sacrificing what I thought I wanted, comfort, normalcy, a pain-free life, and simply drilling a hole into my own skull and extracting the nectar inside to sell for millions, I achieved my dreams, a bank account big enough to sink a battleship, and enough, pardon me, any ladies here tonight, supermodel pussy…

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...all by one simple technique that I’m going to teach you today.

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If you’ve invested the relatively small fee to be in attendance tonight, at this beautiful Marriott ballroom, you’ve already purchased the necessary tools. Look under your seats…

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You have a bone drill, a manual pump, and a small tap that will attach to the exposed skull. Get yourself accustomed to the feel of these in your hand, these are going to be the tools that bring you riches, glory, fame… and yes, supermodel pussy. Or cock, if that's your preference... no judgement here!

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Now, I’m sure you’ve all noticed the large brass basin in the middle of the room. That’s where we’ll be collecting our first communal harvest tonight…

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