October 7, 2022.

If you haven’t been to the Tab’s Avenue Market neighborhood in a while, now might be a time to pay it a visit. Over the past few months there have been half a dozen exciting new openings that have revitalized the neighborhood (including Yolk & Marrow, which was recently nominated for a regional Big Fred Award for their succulent, fall-off the bone spare ribs), but maybe none that have had quite as many people buzzing as the Evisceratorium That Sends Your Soul Straight To Hell.

Located in the historic Fridge Building at Tab’s Ave and 18th, the Evisceratorium That Sends Your Soul Straight To Hell (already being nicknamed the ‘Visc’ by locals and survivors alike) is a “boutique human abattoir operated by corrupted denizens of Hell”, as described by a press release in advance of their soft opening on June 3.

They offer protracted, excruciating deaths, with deluxe packages including holistic and bespoke physical, mental, and spiritual torture for months, or even years (but be prepared to pay extra!) Regardless of your package, every visit to the Visc is guaranteed to end with whatever is left of your ruined and broken body and mind being destroyed, and your immortal soul being damned directly to Hell, to be tormented with unimaginable cruelty for eternity.

The Evisceratorium That Sends Your Soul Straight To Hell’s hours are Tue-Sun, 9 a.m – 9 p.m.