October 20, 2023.

When anon I first clambored into this barrel, I thought enlisting a particularly burly onlooker to hammer in the nails would both be an act of heroic showmanship and also a keen one which would keep me in safety were the tumble down the waterfall to knock me asconce and keep my unconscious form from drowning. However, I now curse that precaution, for I have been in this god damned barrel for what must be several days now, and those watching my death-defying stunt have clearly lost track of me. Still I attempt to call out and roll around, but I am caught in some tangled thicket, and can hear water rushing all around me. I cannot move an inch and my curled body aches terribly. I am dying of thirst surrounded by water. I would take some solace knowing that my public disappearance and death will drum up much needed publicity for my magnificent stage act, but --curses upon curses-- I will be too dead to perform it!