Advice For Dating as a Parent.

Hey guys, any advice on balancing a social life with caring for a stupendously dumb son?

Whenever I go out with friends, or lord forbid, go on a date, my incredibly dumb son crawls inside the walls and eats as much fiberglass insulation as he can. Not only does this make him really sick, it also means that our house isn't heat efficient in the winter, and that raises our heating bill.

How do I keep my dumb son from eating all of the fiberglass insulation every time I go out? Thanks in advance.