Presentation.

"Everybody is very sad all the time," I explain, clicking to the next Powerpoint slide. "Nobody is ever happy, and everyone is always very, very sad. Sometimes, they're also incredibly lonely, but even if they're not lonely they're always sad."

I click to the next Powerpoint slide, and read off the bullet points: "Sometimes they're so sad that they cry. Sometimes they're so sad they feel like they're drowning. Sometimes they think they can make themselves feel better by eating a lot, or going out with friends, or numbing themselves with drink and drugs. That usually just makes them feel sadder!"

The final slide venetian-blinds in. It's a picture of a large public park on a beautiful spring day. People are everywhere. Everyone is crying into their hands, or walking into oncoming traffic.

"Thank you," I conclude, to very little applause at all.